In case you haven’t met them yet, or you have and didn’t know they were part of the family; I thought I’d take a moment to introduce you.
1. Foggy Fran
– She’s the one that interrupts you’re thoughts. When you’re in mid-sentence she’s going to slide into the conversation and make you draw a blank. While focused on a task she’s going to jump in and grab your train of thought and run away with it. We aren’t positive where she comes from. She may be a result of the pain – you know, it’s hard to focus on a conversation if someone is stabbing you in the thigh with a knife. Or maybe she comes around after a few of the other girls (depression and fatigue) have been visiting for a while.
2. Fiona Fatigue
– Oh Fiona. I think I dislike her most of all. Before getting out of bed in the morning she’s there; grabbing your energy supply and running off like a toddler. She jumps up for a piggy-back ride so as you walk through the day you’re carrying her weight as well. Each step twice as difficult as when you were healthy. By lunch time the added weight has you feeling like quite a zombie, dragging along as you walk. Sometimes she ties anchors to your arms and legs and leaves you immobile. Then the catch 22 begins; too tired to move = not being able to move = stopping you from exercising your muscles which would give you more energy. She often leaves you with a sore throat, headache or other illness that comes back time and again. Horrible child that Fiona is!
3. Isabelle Insomnia
– As a child we were scared of the boogie man living under our bed. Well, Isabelle stays there. She runs in and hides before you get under the covers with the shear goal of keeping you awake all night. She’s very aware of your sleep cycle; all 5 stages and the 90 minutes it takes to run through its course to get you to a restful, restorative sleep. While you’re in stage one your muscles and brain are still active. In stage two your muscles are supposed to relax and only your brain keeps going. That’s when she lets all the bed bugs loose to crawl up and down your legs so that you can’t stay still. Once stage three hits, you should be experiencing gentle waves taking you deeper into sleep. But she’s there. Whispering in your ear to keep your mind active and tapping on your arms and legs to keep your muscles alert. If you even make it to the restorative stage five where you can dream, your body can repair tissue and illness damage, and your body releases serotonin to decrease pain; she won’t let you linger there long. She gets vicious and starts to punch you in the arm and talk out loud until she has you fully awake. She’s pure meanness.
4. IBS Iris
– She’s the potty talker of the group. Test after test will prove there is nothing wrong with your intestinal tract. She, however, she sits with her voodoo doll of you and squeezes your stomach to cause you pain. She will constipate you one day and make you run like the wind to the bathroom the next. She keeps you bloated and irritated. You don’t tend to talk about her much; we like to keep her hidden from everyone we know.
5. Tonya TMD
– She has a vice grip, this one. Tightens the joints of your jaw, neck and facial muscles. She is so frustrating. The thought of her makes you grind your teeth. She doesn’t do much else; but she’s competent at her job!
6. Paula Painful Bladder
– Iris’ twin. Potty talker. She’s the one that makes you feel like you have to pee even though you just did, and causes pain and irritation in your plumbing. She usually wakes you during the night, stepping in on Isabelle’s territory.
7. Dana Depression
– She’s always there. Sometimes in the background. Sometimes making a grand appearance. She gets in your head to remind you of the life you once lived and all the things you’re missing out on. Her happiest days are when she can get you to stay in bed and talk about all things gloom and doom. If you try to tell her of all the things you can still do to have a happy, productive life, she goes nuts screaming at the top of her lungs. Reminding you of all the would have/could have/should haves of a healthy life gone sour.
There you have it. There are a few other cousins in the bunch; but these seven tend to stand out above the rest. The hardest job you’ll ever have is keeping them in control! Praying you have the strength to contain them!
Stay Well ~ Live Joyfully!